We've covered how the rich and famous are slowly losing their minds during quarantine. For the average person, a good pet is a source of emotional support. Famous peoples' pets, however, are starting to do double-duty managing a new kind of crazy in the house. Take, for example, Chris Evans' poor dog Dodger's haircut.
How do you shave a bald patch that bad in there? That's not the head of a 16th-century monk, that's a dog's shoulder. Even the most basic pair of clippers you can find at a CVS is going to have adjustable clipper lengths. Poor little fella. Do you know what Dodger could use in the meantime? Some clothes. Maybe reach out to Donatella Versace's pup?
For lack of runways and shows, Versace's pup Audrey is stuck acting as her model muse. The pieces are one of a kind though -- not that we could afford anything in the Versace pet clothing line, anyway.
Of course, few things blend high-fashion or pointlessness as dog weddings. Take a look at Emily Ratajkowski's forced nuptials between her dog Colombo and her friend's dog Happy. The bride and groom are wearing "cones of shame," but everyone attending should have one tbh.
But they're not the only celebrity pet forced into bizarre human romance rituals by all this. Take a look at Justin Theroux and his dog Kuma.
They've been having "date nights" together throughout this pandemic, and it's very easy to recognize the look of "Shit, I should have swiped left," on the pooch's face.
But, it's still better than the thousand-yard stare of Sir Anthony Hopkins cat, Niblo.
No cat has ever looked more disillusioned by a piano, and that includes every "cat playing piano" meme that appeared from 2009-2014. Perhaps he empathizes with the human. Or maybe he also knows that the human once played Hannibal Lecter and is just trying not to make any sudden movements ...
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Isaac Cabe
