This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Sick of getting your headphone wires stuck on belt loops and door handles? Tired of being the only one of your friends who doesn't bring a Bluetooth speaker to every social gathering? Have an obsessive need to save money on things? Well then you came to the right place! We've rounded up some of the top audio deals so you can save big money on sound tech.
MSRP: $129.99. Sale Price: $39.99 (69% off).
These things look like Apple's AirPods and have many of the same features, but cost a fraction of the price. Yeah, they're not sporting Apple branding, but do you really want to spend $160 on two little things just because they came from a box with an apple on it?
MSRP: $259.99. Sale Price: $69.99 (73% off).
These headphones are an Amazon's Choice Product because they feature a crazy 35-hour battery life, advanced Sound2.0 (TM) technology with aptX, and active noise cancellation. They are like your personal sound oasis for when Gary starts screaming about people stealing his lunch from the break room fridge again. (You really should stop stealing Gary's lunch, by the way. You're playing with fire.)
MSRP: $69.99. Sale Price: $63.99 (8% off).
These noise-canceling headphones are great for dealing with Gary, yes, but they're also awesome for commuting or flying, when you need to drown out some of the external noise, like Gary Jr.'s crying. They have a 30-hour battery life and powerful 40mm drivers to give you an outstanding listening experience.
MSRP: $119. Sale Price: $34.99 (70% off).
These Bluetooth 5.0 headphones are some of the smallest on Earth. They're also ergonomically designed to sit comfortably in and around your ear so you can commute, exercise, or do anything else without looking like you've got sticks poking out of your head.
MSRP: $249.95. Sale Price: $174.99 (29% off).
How much cooler than your friends will you be when you bring a voice-activated speaker to the party? Like, at least half a social group cooler. This Alexa-enabled speaker has a four-microphone array so it'll hear your commands from further away, while the 360-degree sound fills any room. That way, when Alexa owns your friends by refusing their commands, everyone will hear their shame and know that you're the boss.
MSRP: $50. Sale Price: $34.99 (30% off).
Pool season may be over for much of the country, but that doesn't mean you can't still bring this floating waterproof wireless speaker in the bath with you! And also, you'll still have it for next summer, in case you want to show something off that isn't your rocking new bod.
MSRP: $299.99. Sale Price: $139.99 (53% off).
This floating speaker is like a disco ball straight out of Starfleet. It levitates and rotates while shining LED lights as you play music via Bluetooth. That way you'll always feel like you're at a slumber party in space.
MSRP: $229.98. Sale Price: $99.99 (56% off).
It would be cool enough that these headphones are high-functioning and wireless. But then throw in the fact that they also work with a companion app which translates more than 30 languages on the go, and hoo boy, you've got yourself a holiday gift winner.
MSRP: $29.99. Sale Price: $14.99 (50% off).
Oh, you already bought AirPods? Well we have something for you anyway. Check out this leather protective case. It'll wrap around your charging case to make your AirPods look cool and sophisticated, and give them a little extra protection.
MSRP: $69.99. Sale Price: $59.99 (14% off).
These new and improved headphones from Avantree feature precision-engineered 40mm stereo drivers and a design that eliminates low-frequency background noise without affecting the source audio in the slightest. They'll even reduce that annoying hum on flights, so you can focus on suppressing your plane farts.
Prices are subject to change.
And take your tunes on the go. This Device Puts The Power Of Music In The Palm Of Your Hand.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.