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Things Your Parents Said That Were Definitely Not Normal

By:: Cracked Plasticians

August 19, 2018

Things Your Parents Said That Were Definitely Not Normal

It's easy to assume that what you experience when you're a kid is normal, because it's pretty much all you know. It's only when you venture out into the world that you begin to suspect that your life to date has been super weird. But there's no way to be sure, right? Maybe there is. We asked readers to show us the things that their parents said all the time, that seem super weird, now. So you can compare notes.

25 Entry by PollyDarton

CRACKED COM My dad always called the center turn lane the lane Suicide since you can often find yourself driving head-on toward another car! I thoug

24 Entry by Gareth Klieber

AS A CHILD, WHEN I WAS UPSET THAT SOMETHING DIDN'T GO MY WAY, MY PARENTS WOULD SHUT DOWN MY OBJECTIONS WITH Tough funuki beans! I ONLY QUESTIONED IT

23 Entry by straightface

When E was kid, I wouldn't eat anything If I knew it had mushrooms in it, bampbells SO they got me to CONDENSED eat this by calling COOKING GREAT FOR

22 Entry by LilySprite

My mother told me eggplant makes your mouth itch. Apparently, my father was allergic and she just never tried it and really thought that was true. I w

21 Entry by BuffaloGreg

My mmom convinced me that if 0 didn't take a long shower immediately after swimming in a chlorinatedr pool all my hair would fall out. 'Why do you th

20 Entry by The_Evil_Monkey

MY PARENTS GAVE names TO TRAFFIC LIGHTS TO HELP me ASSOCIATE STOPPING AND WALKING WITH eACH COLOR. QUICKYW FOR GREEN AND STOPPY FORRED. A LITTLE DID

19 Entry by Stu Edwards

My Polish nanna told me that when you die, all the bread you've ever wasted will be placed on a scale. And if you've wasted more than your own body we

18 Entry by

The first time asked a friend turn on what called to my mom the pligh I was met with confusion followed by laughter.

17 Entry by Harvey Sapigao

My parents told me to tap under my chin whenever I bumped my head on something. That way, the dent made by the impact would pop back out. CRACKEDCON

16 Entry by Glenn Clayburn

My father always referred to the floor as the deck. As a little kid, I thought that's just what dads did. I was still quite young when I realized th

15 Entry by LilySprite

In an effort to protect our puppy from 2 young kids, my mother told us if we touched her ears or tail too much they wouldn't be soft anymore. CRACKEDO

14 Entry by Markos Hasiotis

My parents got SO sick of me constantly rewinding my favorite parts of movies, they told me that the VHS player would explode if I kept doing it! SAWI

13 Entry by Karen Jones

Things Your Parents Said That Were Definitely Not Normal

12 Entry by zgoodman

CRACKED CONT WHEN MY SIBLINGS AND I MISBEHAVED MY DAD WOULD THREATEN TO CALL A MAN NAMED UNCLE SMACKY. HE WAS LIKE SANTA'S EVIL TWIN.

11 Entry by Volstead-Rankin

When my parents were driving the children around town, and the van hit a big bump, they told us that they had just run over a pedestrian. Then, they r

10 Entry by Harvey Sapigao

My parents made me believe that jumping on New Year's eve would make me taller. d After every New Year countdown, I would jump non-stop until I was ex

9 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

CRACKED.CON When I reached the age of puberty, my grandparents told me that the amount of semen in my manhood was finite and if it was all used up, bl

8 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

My parents convinced me that everything was a living thing (to keep me from breaking stuff). OO 000O A MORE BACAL FROZEN CANCEL Imagine my grief when

7 Entry by Samantha Molly Dominick

Whenever my family walked inside of a fancy store, my parents told me, Touch your butt! SO I couldn't touch any expensive merchandise. CRACKED.CON

6 Entry by PookieJones

My parents that told me standing to close a window during a thunderstorm attracts lightning bolts.

5 Entry by Vikram Goenka

My mom always told me, Dad is drinking horse pee... thats why he is going crazy. She often offered me the drink she knew I would refuse. CRACKED COM

4 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

I was taught that eating fast food was against my religion (chicken and beef are fine, but a sin if they're in a burger). The moment I found out that

3 Entry by Rachel Whetstone

When I was reluctant to eat something spicy, my dad would encourage me by saying, That'll put hair on your chest! It was a particularly odd thing to

2 Entry by Samantha Molly Dominick

0 thought that everybody called soda Special. It turns out... Special was a fake nickname my parents made up to fool me that soda was only for spec

1 Entry by Maureen Hanlon

CRACKEDG COM My mother used to say she could tell when I was lying.... ....because little pitchforks would appear in my eyes.

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